MONDAY. I. had. a. terrible. swim. I don't even know if you could call it a swim. I DID NOT feel up for my class. Then I got there, and we were supposed to swim 400 meters (8 laps/16 pool lengths) off the bat (after a short warm up). And we were supposed to swim them at race speed. I had to stop in the middle. We were trying to bench mark our time. I stopped at the end of the pool and said to my instructor: "I can't benchmark today. I'm sorry. I just know that I can't." And I was glad to admit it, but also felt really crappy about myself, on top of the fact that I've generally been feeling moody and homesick and have been missing my friends terribly. It made me feel worse. I did still get in a little swim and feel better for it than I would if I hadn't gone at all.
But it also put me into a panic about the triathlon. I started feeling like maybe I'm going to have another anxiety attack in the water on event day...
Today, I'm still feeling kind of blah and homesick. Friend-sick is the real problem. But I go on a run, and strangely enough - running has become the sport I'm best at of the 3 triathlon events. So hopefully, the run will help build my spirits. It's a beautiful sunny day here. So being in the sun will also hopefully help...
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